Yesturday was an alright day :) bby in mind once again he's my everything. I love you boyfriend. Counceller's talk was good to, had some few discusions about what things oi could do and everything. However, at the end of the day when i finished playing baskquetball which i enjoy alot, i got invited to go to town with this girl and her friends. I had concerns about, but i told i would tell after and stuff. Last night i got a msg from her telling about it and that she wasn't joking when she asked me. I talked her about her and said that i would give her a reply tonight :) i don't know if i shouls go, but my concience my inside says i should. I have the talk with my teacher, today i think i'm going to tell her that i want to give this girl a card too, because she has been with me to when i most need it like the other lovely girl, and i will tell her about this conversation and see what see says about it.

Today's quote leaves to me saying: " That when you realise you see things that you never thought that would happen. But one step at a time and you will reach your target to the next level of achievement."

Yesturday went normal. My bby in mind through out tgmhe day. And its been cold lately, and all i think is i wish he was here with me to warm me up. I've also been have dreamy thoughts, like everytime i pass a car, that's switched on, but its parked and somebody's inside, i always think its him, but when i pass it abd come to realise its not :/ however i wrote the card to my dear lovely friend, gave it to the teacher, i was ment to talk to her but she was in a meeting, so now i'm going to see her on Friday at lunch. She gave me a hug, and i loved it i love hugs hehe. Yesturday i made another progress i've been sitting at least 2 times this week in science next to my friend, because i asked and her and her other friend have accepted me :) but the problem is, is that i dont talk after, i just dont know what to say and also i'm worried about their reaction too. Today i have the talk with my counceller at school, lets see how it goes. If you mantain to contact and speak to me about anything such as your feedback, here is my email: secretanonymou421@gmail.com 

Today i will leave with lyrics from a beautiful song: "I'm gonna pick up the pieces, and build a lego house. If things go wrong we can knock it down. My three words have two meanings, there's one thing on my mind, it's all for you <3 "

I had an ok day. Thinking about my boy all day along, but also had the appointment. I was ok i guess, but she has made an appointment to speak with my mum this time and if she doesn't comd she will tell the service that she asked for information to come to my housr. So i dont want that i told my mum and i havent told her what it about i told that the doctor will tell her instead. She thinks i've done something wrong. But really i haven't she just wants to alert her and keep me safe. Because of whats happened in the past. She wont tell my mum because i dont want her to, so she wont break my confience. However she does need to act and keep me safe on what it relates too. Hope it goes well the appointment :/ worried about when the appointment end that my mum will question me why i been talking about this at the doctors and all that. But i wont tell her the secret. But i will tell her a bit of the truth.

Today's post, will link to a song which is:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W3vijeR0ZRs

Good morning, yestuday went alright. I talked with my baby (boyfriend), which was the so sweet and lovely to talk to him. I love him so much, he's made me feel so speacil and a bit more confience, and since we've been going out i have been more happier and all that :D The teacher, i think i've forgotten him already i just like him as a teacher and i dont look at his room or his car in the morning or afternoon now, and now i dont even care if i see him. Because my baby is by hunni and i'm happy too be with him. He's my only one. :) Today i have the talk with the doctors lets see how it goes. I think i will just lie, or maybe i womt have too. I'll see. Yesturday, hum... no prgress made, lets see today. I have extended a little bit of a conversation yesturday with these girls in my year. Because at lunch they came to sit next to me and started talking about the prom in front of random year 10 it was so akward...

Today quote: " Every single person was born for a reason. Every single person has somebody special in their hearts both family, friends or even boyfriend/girlfriend. Every single person will fight for their dreams and wishes to become true. Every single person will live a true love story with their partner..."

Yesturday, nothing much happened untill it got till night. Had a conversation woth cousin, her boyfriend and my friend. It got to apoint where we were all talking and then suddenly he owns up and admits his feelings (my friend, who was my ex boyfriend). He admitted that he still loved me and all that. And all this time he'd been lieing by saying that he only saw me as a friend because thats how i saw him. My cousin and her boyfriend were convienced that i still felt something for him by the way i walking with him as sweet and kind and all that. In the end, he asked me out and i accepted it. I am still worried of what happened in the past might happen once again and that me and him suffer but more intirely him. Because i have made him suffer in the past for personal reasons. I was so happy and smily when he said those lovely things to me. Today i feel so happy, cheerful and when i don't speak to him i miss him loads. I seems like an entire time. When he pops up i smile straight away. I'm so happy to be with him, but in the same worried and scared. I'm just going to take things calmly this time and see how it goes. For the moment i wont tell my parents i want to keep it secretive. Tuesday i have the appoinment, lets see how it goes. Hope the way i want it to go like. Tomorrow is another day and lets see how it goes.

Inspired song for today is: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CAjKZJarlwk

Today was a good day, i have to say. Saw him with no probblems even though i still like him but i am lossing the habit of seeing if his car is there or anything else that relates to him when i get to school and leave school. Had assembly with him and my year, went alright i guess, for my first lesson i had it in his room and guess what i realised during half through the lesson... the candle i gave him on his desk, and he had already used it i was so happy from the inside, thinking that at least my thoughts were wrong that he gave the candle to somebody else or even through it in the bin. But no i has it and that made me feel good.
   After that had normal day like usual untill it got to science asked again if i could sit next to that girl i like and her other friend and they accepted me. Still no conversation made. However when it got to ending the lesson they went on about prom and got to the point that they tried to persuade me too go, because they recone i should go even though i dont want to. They even tried to make the teacher's involvement to persaude me. I wanna go but at the same time i dont... i dont know i will see untill next week. I still need to right her the card to thank her.
   Once it reached lunch and i got my lunch i went to find a table to sit at but they were nearlly all full, i got to the table where that girl and some other people from my year were and i sat at their table and asked if i could sit there and i did. One or three words spoken but then no more conversations made.
   At the end of the day as i was walking to the bus and entered it inside and gave the bus driver my ticket, i heard 2-3 girls saying bye (name) and i replyed bye and smiled. Didnt see who it was but i was so happy havent heard that kind of message for a long time, since the last time i did have friends but now i dont for no specific reason that i am aware of. But i want to build that friendship again with real and honest people and deserve my happiness and my friendly gift to them.

Quote for today: ''If things seem that their intirely progressing, carry on and you will reach your target. But if you haven't reached that stage, just maintain to fight for your happiness, by sooner or later you will make the first step."

Today was really meh day. Not bad not good it was alright. Thoughts about prom going in my mind to whether or not if i should go. But i will think about it i have only at least two weeks to decide i think. I am planning to go but the issues come back again... talked to my teacher about my new progesses made, and the story about the prom. She thinks that i should go, its a special day and all that but also she recanes that it would be a good stay to build the relationship of us being friend or even leading to best friends. But i dont know, i didnt thank her i was stupid i know, and i told her this and she recones also to right her a thankful letter and to give it to her for inviting me. But im not brave enough to give it to her, so she sugessted me to give it to the teacher and she would pass it to her and have a talk about it. And i prefer it that way.
   However, first thing in the morning before all that happened in at lunch, i was still think about prom, and the girl i love talking to, thought i was upset i was indeed inside, she gave me 2 hugs and and said i love you twice too but at different times of course. I loved those words i smiled but saddness came. I loved those hugs, as she makes me hold on the problems and keep them hidden but when she lets go it reappears.
   Today i felt like i was out of breath for a while like 5-10 miuntes and i was breathing like repeatly and like deeply slowly like always. But now it has calmed down. I have looked myself in the mirror and start realizing that i look very slim. I need to put 1 or 2 kg on to look better not too much but i dont want look too slim aswell
   Saw him, was hard to have to deal with it, but i managed it. However i do believe i will forget him as to loving him, and i think i'm getting there. Sooner or later i will make it.

Today's quote: "Love one another, Recpect and Care for one another as you would want to be loved and treated."