Today was a forgettable day. I felt positive today when I got too school, I even started a conversation but only once. I said hello and the girl said hello (name) you seem happier today and I replied yeah  yeah I do, but inside you know what it's like, its completely different to the opinion from the outside. But oh well, it's life. Saw him, felt good inside but in outside I felt I wish I didn't see him, this isn't going to be easy to forget him, especially because I see him single day. Normally, everything seems impossible when really it isn't, but here we go I have a battle to fight through. I read in front, of the class 2 times, it felt s awkward, for me and I felt people were laughed at me because there were a few giggles after I read... I've been called small again :/ seriously I think its not my fault for being small. Yesterday I said that the suicidal thoughts went away, but unfortunately them came back again. Seriously, I'm beginning to think I deserve all this.... In school I even talked to 1-2 teachers one of them even asked me questions and me too them, and that teacher asked if I was ok and how was school, and of course I lied I was ok and school was fine, when really it's the completely opposite. Tomorrow, it's the doctor's appointment I'm so worried, and I don't even know where to start from to tell the doctor, but I reckon that she will ask questions and it will make a lot easier I guess. Let's see how it goes, just have to think positively.

Today's quote is: '' That moment when you think everything is ok at that promise moment, and then something/ a special obstacle comes along and destroys everything. But all you have to do is maintain firm and think positive, and not let anything destroy your happiness."