Today was the day i was waiting for and it was truly concertized. I met up with him with my cousin, couldn't do it on my own... However, when i first met him i panicked, as to how is it gonna be, what am i going to talk about and more, questions got inside my my mind. I kissed him on the cheek on both sides, cousin too, but then not much talking from my part was involved, but there was more from him and my cousin. I was so super nervous. As time got passed there was only one hour left of the meeting, i was in a park of infants with them, and i sat on the slide, when the moment came i realized that he came and sat behind me, e touched me, e touched my hair, he massaged me on the back. Until, a moment of a man or woman fell of a motorbike. I looked and walked slowly disappering to the other side, but with out realizing he followed me and when i soon realized he was in front of me. He grabbed me both of my hands and put them on his, sliding up our arms. He blowed me in the ear. We talked a bit more, but not much from my part, he began to come closer, but during that moment i couldn't look at him in the eyes i don't know why but i found it hard. He began to come and go closer and not so closer, i began to breathe slowly and the nervous feeling continued. He had hugged me but i rejected it, but at that moment only me and him on our own, and cousin on the other side. We hugged, and our hugs got stronger. That it lead off to kisses. He kissed me on the check, on the nose, on the forehead leading to get closer to lips. I turned slowly panicking. But he kissed me, he but his lips against my and kissing, i began to shake with nervously and timid feelings. That then he gave me a hug straight away, and said breathe slowly and calmly. Sooner or later nothing much happened and we started walking back as it was getting closer to the hour to go home. I began to come even more silently, and began to walk faster. I was super confused thinking if i was doing the right thing or the wrong thing... If it was normal/natural what had just happened...
As we nearly reached the destination, i asked him one or two questions as i did before what had just happened, he told me that of what he felt for the kiss: saying that he knew it was something more than friendship, and now that for definitely. I began thinking and walking more, until i got his arm on my shoulder and his hand reaching my afterwards pulling me next to him. Him asking what i felt about the kiss. I said i liked but at the same time i don't know. I'm super confused... i can't/ i don't know how to speak the right words, as you know and did see i was super nervous and that i am a very timid person, that i shaked whilst you kissed me. But i can't express the rest of the words worried to hurt you, i'll text you or maybe ringing you, since person to person is very hard for me to speak out things.... Whilst listening to me, we parted from each other, with a hug, and a kiss on the cheek, nearly leading to another kiss on lips. But he felt it was better to not do so, otherwise i could feel even worse. We walked with hands together, but then i let my go, as it was getting closer for me to turn one side and him the other of the street. I felt super anxious and confused that i felt like not saying one last goodbye. My cousin kissed him on the cheek, and she was waiting for me to do so or something even more. But i couldn't so i crossed the road, i know i was rude but i couldn't otherwise i would feel alot worse than i was feeling.
My cousin followed me, he went home i went to with my cousin, but as i was walking i talked about the kiss and everything. As i reached home i texted him talking about the situation, until, i made a decision to meet up with him, but this time for the second time on my own, maybe i feel alot comfortable, and maybe this second day may change for definitely for something more than friendship. I'm waiting for his reply, his last text was at 13:54 and i texted him afterwards with like 4-5 messages. Since 13:54 until know 17:49 that he hasn't responded. I'm worried that I've done something wrong, has he fallen asleep for waking up so early because of the meeting, many and many more questions come to my mind. But i can't get the answer... I shall be patience and wait for a reason why he's doing this, and making me suffer inside for not knowing anything about him... :(
