Today, was better. I believe that now on way's I can see that light coming though, and starting to appearing and exist in my life, but not just yet. Well, I didn't see him - well I heard his voice, but didn't look at him, I looked down as I was reading, I managed to control my self and look less at his car and room, when I entered school and left school. Still looked, but less that always I've been looking. However, I had a thought if I should see my teacher this lunch time. I wasn't going to but that would be just rude, and I'm not that kind of person, so I went. And her reaction was completely different to what I thought. I told her, some few progresses I made during the week, and I know they were only a few but she's happy to hear hat she heard. That I started a conversation once, I'm managed to talk more to people if them talk to me, I'm managing to accept if I'm wanted, and not just say no (e.g. being in groups/teams). Doing art work and revision is helping me a tiny bit to stay those bad thoughts away, and the serious problem too, but just a tiny little bit. However she has set me a target for this week, which was: instead of people inviting me in their group or sitting next to them, I shall be the one to ask if I can join them. I know it's hard by if I did those other things, then I believe I will be able to do it. We had a love chat together, I love her so much she's just like a real friend for me. I do believe now, that I will fight though this and I will win this battle, but just step by step. Tomorrow I have the talk with my counsellor, I think I'm now ready to tell her, and find out ways to deal with this problem. And get this problem away from affecting my life in present and future.

Today's quote: "When you're sad you must smile, when you're happy, you must laugh, when you're weak, you must stay strong. That shine light will appear in your life, you just got to believe it, everything is truly possible.''