Today went super good until it got later in the evening but still am ok. Got to school, no sign of him and his car but when i was the end of break i was going to see my counceller, i saw his car. I was so disappointed because i thought he wasnt in but he was. Still good inside but but outside i have to forget him. However had a talk with my counceller told her my new progessing made, the chat i had yesturday with the girl from PE and one or two others. I was happy no tears came down :/ but we got to a point in the end where i think i have to work on to progess more.
As the session finished i was walking to my next lesson, i was finishing my 3D model in science whilst others were finishing theirs. And these to girls came a long, stared at me for a while untill they asked me what they wanted. They asked me if i wanted to go to prom with them and some few other girls in a lemozine (sorry for spelling). I said i wasnt going to go, didnt tell them why but the reason for it our others making fun of me of what i'm waering like last time and having no one too talk to. When i said no and see said oh ok this boy said (name) your not going? I said no and nodded. I cant remeber no more all i remember is this and i remembered everyone continuing with their models. Bell went for lunch. Had lunch, form and lessons.
During last lesson, i had the lesson in his room. Saw his car once again, and saw him for the second time because i did already see him in the morning but did not look at him but i knew he was there by his voice anf by me passing him. However no sign made from him, no speaking no nothing. Upseting but maybe this will make me forget him even more. But i do miss him so much :(
However, got to the stage where i went for the appointment. Waited and waited until i was called. Talk about the serious problem and the friend online i met online. She still feels i'm at risk from what happened to me and or might happen again. She's worried me meeting up with this person because of the serious problem and how it kind of links with it not much but a bit. She does want to tell my parents but im not prepared for their reaction, and if she does that i wont speak to her no more, and self - harm or even commit suicide. I know it's not the end of the world but i want to avoid them worrying about me and protect them and not let them get involved. Also i am worried for their reaction, might be the same as too what i'm accepting shouting, angry, dissappointment and could or could not lead to worst maybe. So if she plans to do that i will start self-harming again seriously.
Tomorrow i have a talk with the teacher at lunchtime to tell her my progess like always. Next tuesday another appointment with the doctor and next thurday talk with the counceler. Progess made today yeah, i started a conversation and extended it a bit not a lot but a bit.
Today i will leave you with a song:-https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AnMP1oqPTto
