Today went OK i guess. Not perfect but alright. I managed to reveal my biggest secret with my counceller, same reaction to other people, positive to what i was expecting :/ but still, the worriness it occurring, if the problem being discovered and parents might find out or other people. But especially parents and family. However, i need to see the other point of view and stop blame myself, because it's not my fault but yes the other .... how my counceller has said and the other people who know. It's going to be hard but i know it's possible, i just got to believe it. Because i know now that i really want to be happy, to how i deserve it, and not let this interfere/affect my life during present and future. Also one key thing, is the image part. 
   How i see myself. I can look in the mirror, i try and smile and say i'm pretty... but it's hard to believe it, i just don't think i'm that good to be pretty, beautiful and perfect like other girls. But also i think i don't have that perfect smile like others do as well. I think i look ugly and monstrous when i smile and think i loo pretty in the mirror. When i look down on me without the mirror i think i'm getting fatter, especially on legs. But when i comes to the mirror still think the same way, but not as much. But skinny image comes in mind, but i prefer to be like i am if i am skinny indeed than i used to be ( i wasn't to fat nor too skinny but i was close to fat, only a tiny bit). 
   I'm not that skinny at the moment, but family think i am and think i should eat more. Well, its mine decision, if this is what makes me happy, then that's what it matters right? However, i did cry indeed, during my session in physiology with my counceller. Played basketball in PE, not proper game but like a few mini exercises, like getting in pairs and dribbling the ball, trying to get the ball through the ball in the net, also played the game bulldogs by dibbling the ball, like those kind of exercises. 
   Today, i'm gonna try and make that target from Wednesday, and try and manage to have courage to speak more, but especially to be the actual me to join in groups/teams and sit next to people by asking them. I have until next Wednesday to do it. I will make it, i know i will. However i also need to start conversations again, not just that one or two times i did, their not enough, if i want to make friends then i have to do it. I believe that i will make these hard and challenging target. If i was able to do it once then i'm able to do it again, and again, and again...

Today quote: "Through one step, it may not seem alot now to you, but it can make alot of different, and little by little, step by step, you will managed to complete the target/action or even challenge your trying make, to make you feel complete and feel the right you and not someone else. But the most important to make you feel happy."