Today was better that it has been, he was in school, and every time I passed a place he normally would be I would wish/hope inside my head that he wouldn't be there. And he wasn't, even when I went to his room to have a lesson in with another teacher, but no sign of him. To me it's a good thing, it helps a little to not see him, although I do think of him it's better than nothing :/ but eventually I will stop loving him (I hope). However, today I had the appointment at the doctor. I told her everything, that need to be told, but I feel like it's the right time to tell my counsellor, this Thursday coming. I feel better than always, better than when I talked to my teacher and head of year, and the priest at confession. Because she talked in so delicate, of course the other people did too but she did it differently, of away of making me feel comfortable in saying it. Told her about the bulling, the serious problem, the issues in losing weight, the issue that's been occurring related about that I'm been losing hair from roots of my head. The issue of the person I'm met online and so on. She's made an appointment for next Tuesday. She did always mention, in talking to my counsellor, for certain reasons, but prefer not to say. Thursday hoping that she will be there, and I'll have the courage in talking to her. Today a girl, got on my stop for the bus it was awkward for me because she never gets on that stop, we said hi and how are you. But nothing else. I looked down with my head covering, and thinking to my self whilst listening to music, I wish I was perfect as her, pretty, having friends and so on. I really like her and I wish I was her friend, she's one of my idols, because whenever I'm upset and cry she will go near me and give m a hug. I love her hugs, I love her words "everything will get better, it will be alright." But at the moment I believe it won't maybe in future I will. She does also asks me if I want to talk, but of course I don't, because of course I've lost the trust in everyone for what's happened to me (linking to serious problem).

However, today's quote is: ''Everything will get better,  you just have to believe, and for those who believe everything will become possible always.''